S1,E2: A Real [Pig's] Eye-Opener

[Super creepy voice]

I collect – things.

Things possessing a certain quality of uniqueness.

Due to the original nature of these collectibles, I often worry about how I could get along without them should a fire or perhaps an unnatural decay fall upon them.

This is why I am a Liberty Mutual customer.

They value what I value and genuinely want to help when problems arise.

It’s because of their concern that I insure my most precious treasures with Liberty Mutual.

Should a tragic event or raid occur, they will help me get back to normal.

Liberty Mutual – Securing your comfort

Sometime around 1777, near Sault Ste Marie, Ontario, Canada a baby was born. That baby would eventually become the man, Pierre “Pig’s Eye” Parrant. “Pig’s Eye,” or L’oeil de cochon, because he was blind in one eye and wore a patch over the eye, but the moniker most likely came about because his blind eye had a white ring around the pupil, which is a thing pigs have going on.

Pierre was a fur trapper and was probably responsible for the near-extinction of local Canadian animals, but that is not why we talk about him, plus there isn’t any proof that he’s an eradicator of animals, it’s just a guess.

Anyway, Pierre enjoyed moonlighting as a bootlegger, which earned him a rabble-rouser type reputation with law enforcement.

But as he aged and the fur trade began declining, Pierre journeyed down to Minnesota in 1832 in search of new opportunities and settled in a squatter’s colony near Fort Snelling. This is when Pierre began to discover his true calling as a distiller of whiskey.

He sold to other locals and to soldiers who were stationed at Fort Snelling. Eventually, Pig’s Eye and his fellow squatters were kicked out of the colony for being a drain on the surrounding resources.

So Pierre made a claim on land located at the mouth of Fountain Cave, which was on the East bank of the Mississippi river. The easy access to water made this an ideal situation for Parrant’s burgeoning liquor empire.

He built a shack, which served as a bar and the first habitation and first business in the area. As the community grew around this establishment, it took on Pierre’s nickname and became known as “Pig’s Eye.” It was even possible to receive mail here simply by using the address “Pig’s Eye.”

Then the Catholics came and, like they do, they ruined everything.

Priest Lucien Galtier arrived in Pig’s Eye and immediately got his undies in a bunch over the eponymous source of the village. "How dare a seemingly thriving community be named after a man of ill-repute?" he probably said.

And so in 1841, Galtier constructed a small chapel and titled the land St. Paul, because as Saul arose and became Paul, so shall Pig’s Eye or something like that.

Then in 1844 Pierre “Pig’s Eye” Parrant lost his claim on the land at Fountain Cave and skedaddled. Where he went is not certain, but what we do know is that if it weren’t for meddling Catholics, Minnesota would have the damn greatest name for a state capitol ever. Instead, we have some awesome beer signs and a mediocre Pilsner that my friends' dads drank.

You’re welcome.

Love,

MN

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